Full Name: Fated Furious Nickname(s): FatedF Gender: Male Age: 21 Date of birth: 31-7-2342 Place of birth: Mainland Forrest, Cave Of Darkness Current residence: Assassin University Job: Assassin Interests and hobbies: Assassinating, Hunting, Friendly Bears Religious Belief: Phaedron Signature Item (s): The Dagger Of Phaedron Character History: Fatedfurious was born into a family of assassins and fighters. When he was very young his dad and mother were dead. He was grown by bears and did not know how to speak English until he was 8. He decided to look for some food when he reached his way to the Mainland where some guards had stopped him. Fatedfurious got furious because he couldn't go in so then he killed the 2 guards a ran in and a huge alert started ringing. One of Phaedron followers had found me and took me to a dark and spooky house. He said take this dagger before he leave. He saw the dagger and it said Phaedron on the side of both of them. When he held the item he saw lots of flash backs and got the skills of a assassin. It is believed that my father has possessed this weapon as in my flashback he saw someone with this dagger that might have been my father. He want from building to building sneaking to find my father killers(who i saw in my flashback). One day, while he was travelling, I came across a gang which were harnessing a kid. The kid screamed 'Help Me!'. The kid i saved was a assassin called harry and his father was called a john. They thought me all the secrets and tricks on how to a assassin and they told me that he will be a legendary assassin one day. They gave me shelter and food until he was 12 and he thought he should leave the house and go on my own adventure. He went to the mainland going from the shadows of buildings to shadows of lanes. When he was going from building to building he saw my father's killer who was with about 20 people. The guy who killed my father was called Sam as he found a man called him Sam. he followed Sam everywhere so he can find him alone to assassinate but their were always people with him and they were believers of Metus. He found him alone once in his room but their was no way in so then he broke the window and assassinated him. Sam was not dead as he was wearing protection amour and he told me that you must be that useless Garry's son that my spy had spotted and gave you that dagger. I had planned that you would attack me so let me tell you why i killed your father. I killed your father because he had a huge bounty on him and i needed all the money so that i would never suffer every again. He pressed a button and 20 people came into the room with guns so i jumped of the building and caught a flag and hid. He saw him leave so i followed him after he went into a dark lane i came behind him and killed him. This relieved all my pain of losing my father and mother and this will make mainland safe again from the best bounty killer in mainland. A man had saw me and shouted a bounty killer and lots of guards came toward me. Their was one that looked like a odd one out which i guessed was the general which i learned from harry. The general told me that have you made killed this man and i said yes and told him why. He said well done i am proud of you kid and took me to a hall where i was given a medal and award of honor and hope.
I can see you made an effort with the biography, that's great. There are a few issues with it from my perspective. If you address those, I believe it will result in a much more understandable story. 1. The biography is written from two persons (perspectives) at the same time. At the beginning you are talking about your character in third person ("Fatedfurious was born..."), later on it somehow turns into first person ("The guy who killed my father..."). You are using the two persons inconsistently, changing them as you see fit. This makes it very confusing. I recommend writing it all in third person (or first if you wish). Either way, please make it consistent. 2. There are no guns in our world. Please adjust the passage where 20 men with guns jump at you. Daggers perhaps? 3. The grammar is not great. I take it you are either young or not a native speaker - not much you can do about that. I'd just ask you that you read through it and fix it up to the best of your ability. Making these changes will improve the bio a fair bit.
