Approved Steve's Bio

Discussion in 'Character Bios' started by Smaltin, Jul 7, 2016.

  1. Smaltin

    Smaltin Verified Traveler

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    Full Name: Steve Legends
    Nickname(s): Smaltin
    Gender: Male
    Age: 21
    Date of birth: 2384S
    Place of birth: Patraeia
    Current residence: Elpida
    Job: Guard
    Interests and hobbies: Likes protecting his family and friends, and enjoys riding horses.
    Religious Belief: Believes in Ignarus.
    Signature Item (s): Tri-Blade. (Two detachable daggers coming out of the sword)
    Bio


    Steve started life on the mainland. He was born on June 5th. He lived in a rich family, that purchased him his own sword, armor, and a horse. Every day, he would do the same routine. Steve would wake up, have a coffee, then go down to the checkpoint. Steve would stay at that checkpoint until dusk. If he was late, he was paid less. Earlier, the better. He protected the land for a while, then decided he wanted to live life to his fullest. He had an idea to come to Elpida. Steve did research by talking with everybody in his town. Everyone in the town discouraged it, but Steve never gave up. He decided to send letters to people inside Elpida. They all said it was great, and they had really good food. That made Steve excited. They all reserved a spot on the boat to Elpida. Many people asked his parents for money to get them a spot, and only Steve's best friends went. The boat ride took 10 days, and the water was choppy. Once they got there, they got a big house overlooking the ocean.

    Steve decided to go to Elpida because he wanted to live life better. He had just learned about Elpida because he got a letter in the mail. The letter had enough money to pay him and his family to go to Elpida. The letter was sent from somebody unidentified. He told his parents about it, and he also sent letters to his friends. The friends that went all said good things and asked for him to come. He told his parents all about these letters. His parents knew about Elpida and were planning to have a surprise vacation, but Steve convinced them to live there.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2016
  2. QuannTan

    QuannTan Retired Staff Retired Staff

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    Gooday my friend! This is a very short bio, a little too short really. Which will not pass the inspection by the staff! Follow the guides! They help immensley!

    http://minecraftfrontiers.com/forums/threads/recommended-character-biography-layout.156/ - This is definately needed! It helps us know your character better!

    http://minecraftfrontiers.com/forums/threads/writing-a-biography-guide.153/ - This will help you through the process of making your bio longer!

    I like where it is going, it just needs to be "Meatier" as it were (Needs more to it)! :D

    Edit: Also, Love the tri-blade idea! Sounds like something from the Assassin's Creed Games!
     
    Smaltin likes this.
  3. Smaltin

    Smaltin Verified Traveler

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    Thank you :)
     
    QuannTan likes this.
  4. QuannTan

    QuannTan Retired Staff Retired Staff

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    No problem my friend! Good luck on getting accepted! Hope to see you in the server! :D
     
    Smaltin likes this.
  5. Smaltin

    Smaltin Verified Traveler

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    Server is coming out on Saturday, hope to see you there!
     
  6. Alir99

    Alir99 The Guy Who Does Stuff Moderator Community Team

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    Hello and welcome!
    Bio is a bit short compared to what we expect from players. Try to write around 1-2 paragraphs on your characters life before Elpida, and 1 paragraph on their decision to move to Elpida.
    Good luck!
     
    Smaltin likes this.
  7. Skullface_Skully

    Skullface_Skully Citizen

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    I'm a little confused about how you got the money in the mail. Did a friend send it, or maybe a mysterious person sent it. Also, if you are from a rich family why did you need money in the mail to pay for the trip? You might want to elaborate on those.
     
    Smaltin likes this.
  8. Smaltin

    Smaltin Verified Traveler

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    I have worked on it some more.
     
  9. Alir99

    Alir99 The Guy Who Does Stuff Moderator Community Team

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    Thank you.
    Contact @tcvs to get your prototype badge and access to the server.
    Best of luck!
     
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